Feeling a little stunned right now. At lunch yesterday, Caitlin and I were talking about living passively as opposed to living actively, and how we can change our lives if we choose to do so. She's found a book along the lines of the principles of attraction, and was talking about manifesting her dreams. Of course, my approach is a little different, but she asked me, "Why not manifest perfect health for yourself?"
I thought a lot about that yesterday, because the day before I'd heard from the doctor about my blood test results, and they were terrible. Several years ago, I prayed for God to heal my mother's kidney disease, and it is ever so slowly (but noticeably) reversing itself. I know several stories of divine healing, and I began to wonder why I never asked for it for myself. So last night, I told God that I don't need to manifest perfect health for myself, because He can manifest it if He chooses to do so.
This morning, this article about corn gluten appeared in my Facebook feed. I followed the link and found this article detailing all the diseases that have been connected to non-celiac gluten sensitivity.
Everything I've been diagnosed with is on this list. Everything.
So I decided to see if any doctor who follows the principles of the Gluten Free Society is in the area. Guess what? The founder is in Sugar Land. A 3-hour drive. And there's a life coach in Round Rock who's been through the first level of his GF certification. Round Rock. I drive there regularly to visit friends.
Could the solution really be that easy? That close? All I have to do is reach out and take it? And there are two guides within driving distance who can help?
If I can recover and maintain perfect health by eliminating all gluten from my diet, why should I not do it? It's such a simple solution. And by "simple" I do NOT mean "easy." From what I can tell, what the GFS calls a "true gluten free" diet is actually grain-free.
I will need coaching and guidance and encouragement, but it would be all worthwhile if my body would heal and start working properly.
The timing is so significant. Rarely have my prayers been answered so promptly. "You want perfect health? Here. Here's the way to do it." God is so amazing.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Living with a Chronic Illness - To Clean or Not to Clean?
It's hard enough to keep your living space clean when you're not ill. So how can you keep up when you are? How do you clean the bathroom when you can barely stand? Keep the floor clean when you don't have the strength to push a carpet cleaner around?
Obviously, the easiest thing to do is to hire someone to do it for you. But really, how many of us can afford that? So if you, like me, have to do it yourself, here are the products that help me try to keep the dust and cat hair under control. Hopefully some of them will help you.
1. A good vacuum cleaner is a must. If you're like me, you don't want a heavy carpet sweeper, and you need something that will clean both carpet and hard floors. I use the Miele Neptune. It's a bit pricey, but it's a great canister vacuum with all the necessary attachments. The wand and heads will fit under most furniture, and it has two filters. Lightweight, easy to carry around, and very good suction.
2. For mopping, the Swiffer Wet Jet is everything the commercials promise. The liquid is safe for children and pets, and when you've finished mopping, just take the pad off and throw it away. Nothing could be easier, and it smells fresh and clean.
3. Dusting is a chore no matter what. I love the Swiffer Duster because it gets into all the nooks and crannies and traps the dust in itself. And again, when it's full, throw it away. I love disposable stuff, can you tell? :-)
4. The Mr. Clean Magic Eraser line of products are fabulous. It wipes off counters, cleans grease from the stovetop, gets dark spots off from the stainless steel sink, and I even cleaned the metal part of my crock pot with it today. Also works great in the bathroom to get hard water spots off the counter and spigot. They have the regular, the extra strength, and big ones for the bathroom.
5. Speaking of bathroom, the easiest way to clean the toilet ever is with Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush. The brushes have the cleaner inside them - insert them into the wand, swish around the bowl, and release the brushes when you're done. They flush! I am such a big fan of these. There are also scrubbers for really tough stains. And then to finish the bathroom, wiping down all the surfaces, Scrubbing Bubbles also makes flushable antibacterial wipes!
So what have you found that makes chores easier? Particularly vacuum cleaners, because I know that Mieles don't fit everyone's budget.
Obviously, the easiest thing to do is to hire someone to do it for you. But really, how many of us can afford that? So if you, like me, have to do it yourself, here are the products that help me try to keep the dust and cat hair under control. Hopefully some of them will help you.
1. A good vacuum cleaner is a must. If you're like me, you don't want a heavy carpet sweeper, and you need something that will clean both carpet and hard floors. I use the Miele Neptune. It's a bit pricey, but it's a great canister vacuum with all the necessary attachments. The wand and heads will fit under most furniture, and it has two filters. Lightweight, easy to carry around, and very good suction.
2. For mopping, the Swiffer Wet Jet is everything the commercials promise. The liquid is safe for children and pets, and when you've finished mopping, just take the pad off and throw it away. Nothing could be easier, and it smells fresh and clean.
3. Dusting is a chore no matter what. I love the Swiffer Duster because it gets into all the nooks and crannies and traps the dust in itself. And again, when it's full, throw it away. I love disposable stuff, can you tell? :-)
4. The Mr. Clean Magic Eraser line of products are fabulous. It wipes off counters, cleans grease from the stovetop, gets dark spots off from the stainless steel sink, and I even cleaned the metal part of my crock pot with it today. Also works great in the bathroom to get hard water spots off the counter and spigot. They have the regular, the extra strength, and big ones for the bathroom.
5. Speaking of bathroom, the easiest way to clean the toilet ever is with Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush. The brushes have the cleaner inside them - insert them into the wand, swish around the bowl, and release the brushes when you're done. They flush! I am such a big fan of these. There are also scrubbers for really tough stains. And then to finish the bathroom, wiping down all the surfaces, Scrubbing Bubbles also makes flushable antibacterial wipes!
So what have you found that makes chores easier? Particularly vacuum cleaners, because I know that Mieles don't fit everyone's budget.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Still breathing
Haven't posted anything here lately because I haven't had anything worth saying. Hope you all are well.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
What's left in an empty box?
The last few weeks, I have been more discouraged, depressed, and distressed than I can remember feeling in a long, long time. I have metaphorically banged my nose on more closed doors than ever before. This chapter of my life is coming to an end, but I don’t know what’s next, and I don’t know how to fulfill my responsibilities until whatever’s next arrives. I’m lost in the dark, swinging a lantern wildly and not seeing any path before my feet. All I see is . . . nothing.
I feel like God is scouring me out, like you would a cookpot, scrubbing away at stubborn stains until they gradually surrender to the inevitable and drift away down the drain. Preconceptions, expectations, even aspirations, have all disappeared, and every time I think there’s nothing left inside, I realize the loss of something else I only vaguely knew was there in the first place.
But what do you do when the cookpot’s clean? You fill it up again, with something new. Something good. Something useful. You can’t use the pot for its intended purpose until all of the previous gunk is wiped away.
I was reading Second Corinthians today, and the following passage, as well-known to me as it was already, struck me as particularly pertinent:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10, New International Version.
I haven’t reached the point where I can say I’m delighting in these circumstances. Not when I’m having anxiety attacks like the one I had earlier today when I realized I’m going to have to do something that I don’t think I am physically able do. But I have reached the point of saying that I am weak. This thing must be done, and I must do it. But I can’t. So Christ will have to do it through me. And that is a glorious thing.
When Pandora opened the jar Zeus had given her, and released all the evil into the world, and the jar looked empty, there was one thing left. Even though I feel empty, I do have at least one thing left in my soul – hope.
I feel like God is scouring me out, like you would a cookpot, scrubbing away at stubborn stains until they gradually surrender to the inevitable and drift away down the drain. Preconceptions, expectations, even aspirations, have all disappeared, and every time I think there’s nothing left inside, I realize the loss of something else I only vaguely knew was there in the first place.
But what do you do when the cookpot’s clean? You fill it up again, with something new. Something good. Something useful. You can’t use the pot for its intended purpose until all of the previous gunk is wiped away.
I was reading Second Corinthians today, and the following passage, as well-known to me as it was already, struck me as particularly pertinent:
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10, New International Version.
I haven’t reached the point where I can say I’m delighting in these circumstances. Not when I’m having anxiety attacks like the one I had earlier today when I realized I’m going to have to do something that I don’t think I am physically able do. But I have reached the point of saying that I am weak. This thing must be done, and I must do it. But I can’t. So Christ will have to do it through me. And that is a glorious thing.
When Pandora opened the jar Zeus had given her, and released all the evil into the world, and the jar looked empty, there was one thing left. Even though I feel empty, I do have at least one thing left in my soul – hope.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Living With an Invisible Illness, Part 2 (I think)
Quick post today to offer two items for your consideration.
1. Helping loved ones understand what you're feeling - if you haven't utilized The Spoon Theory, I highly recommend it. It's written for lupus, but works for any chronic invisible illness, in my opinion.
2. I was talking to someone last week who said that there is a new theory that fibromyalgia is related to PTSD. So I'm wondering - for those of you out there in ReaderLand who have fibro or another chronic autoimmune disorder, did you suffer a traumatic event?
That's all there's time for today. Hope your week is going well!
1. Helping loved ones understand what you're feeling - if you haven't utilized The Spoon Theory, I highly recommend it. It's written for lupus, but works for any chronic invisible illness, in my opinion.
2. I was talking to someone last week who said that there is a new theory that fibromyalgia is related to PTSD. So I'm wondering - for those of you out there in ReaderLand who have fibro or another chronic autoimmune disorder, did you suffer a traumatic event?
That's all there's time for today. Hope your week is going well!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Happy New Year, or Why I Don’t Go Out on Halloween
Today is Samhain, Celtic New Year. Today is the day when the veil between the worlds is thinnest, permitting spirits to cross back over into our world, and permitting unwary souls to wander from this world into Faerie. Tonight, in the Druidic tradition, all the hearth fires would be extinguished, then relit from the bonfire lit by the king and blessed by his Druids.
Or so we think. No one really knows, because the Druids died out long ago, when Christianity came to the Emerald Isle. I’ve seen conflicting sources about what day Samhain actually is – some say All Hallow’s Eve (October 31), some say All Saints’ Day (November 1), some say Dia de los Muertos (November 2). I suspect that the ancient Druidic observance of Samhain had more to do with the cycle of the moon and the seasons than it was tied to an actual calendar day, but that’s just my theory.
On a more intimate note, today is my personal New Year’s Eve. Because I was born on All Saints’ Day, around Samhain and Dia de los Muertos, this time of year is deeply meaningful to me. Today is the day I contemplate the year gone by, and what I want to accomplish in the year ahead. Samhain just gives me an external justification for my intuition that the year is winding down and the new one is just ahead. My heritage is mostly Celtic, which justifies the emotional attachment to Celtic New Year, and I grew up in an area with a large Mexican population, so Dia de los Muertos also has some emotional significance, although I have never observed those traditions.
Regardless, most people seem to accept the idea that this particular night is special. Secular America has de-emphasized the supernatural elements and significance, by focusing on candy and fun costumes and silliness. Those things are fine and dandy as far as they go, but for me it is important to remember that there is more in the universe than our five senses can perceive. And that this night of any night, there is more supernatural activity than usual.
How do I know? I can feel it. I started feeling it last night. It was not quite 11:00 p.m. when I stopped at a red light and looked out over the hills of north Austin. I could see a lot of traffic, and suddenly I could feel a restlessness in the night air. I prayed for God’s protection of the city and its population.
Looking back on my childhood, I realize that I’ve always been able to feel the otherworldly atmosphere on Halloween. It scares me, because all of the spirits I’ve ever felt have been malevolent.
One Halloween when I was in college, I was at campus late and decided that rather than driving home, I’d go to a friend’s house. She worked nights and left a key for me outside her door. I was welcome any time. So I went over there around midnight. The moon was high and almost full, but her yard was peculiarly dark. I was uncomfortable as I walked from the car to the front door, and I could not find the rock where she had hidden the key. I stood there in the yard for a moment, and could feel hate focused on me from all directions. It was oppressive and momentarily paralyzing. Suddenly I couldn’t stand to be there another minute, so I rushed back to my car and went home.
I am not afraid of the Evil One. Neither he nor his servants have power over me, because my soul belongs to the Creator. But I will not expose myself to their hatred and malevolent intent, either. I stay at home on Halloween, safe in the protection of my God’s love and power.
Tonight the veil is thin, my friends. Be careful, be vigilant, and do not let yourselves be led astray. I pray that God will keep you safe from harm, and that the coming year will overflow with blessing.
Or so we think. No one really knows, because the Druids died out long ago, when Christianity came to the Emerald Isle. I’ve seen conflicting sources about what day Samhain actually is – some say All Hallow’s Eve (October 31), some say All Saints’ Day (November 1), some say Dia de los Muertos (November 2). I suspect that the ancient Druidic observance of Samhain had more to do with the cycle of the moon and the seasons than it was tied to an actual calendar day, but that’s just my theory.
On a more intimate note, today is my personal New Year’s Eve. Because I was born on All Saints’ Day, around Samhain and Dia de los Muertos, this time of year is deeply meaningful to me. Today is the day I contemplate the year gone by, and what I want to accomplish in the year ahead. Samhain just gives me an external justification for my intuition that the year is winding down and the new one is just ahead. My heritage is mostly Celtic, which justifies the emotional attachment to Celtic New Year, and I grew up in an area with a large Mexican population, so Dia de los Muertos also has some emotional significance, although I have never observed those traditions.
Regardless, most people seem to accept the idea that this particular night is special. Secular America has de-emphasized the supernatural elements and significance, by focusing on candy and fun costumes and silliness. Those things are fine and dandy as far as they go, but for me it is important to remember that there is more in the universe than our five senses can perceive. And that this night of any night, there is more supernatural activity than usual.
How do I know? I can feel it. I started feeling it last night. It was not quite 11:00 p.m. when I stopped at a red light and looked out over the hills of north Austin. I could see a lot of traffic, and suddenly I could feel a restlessness in the night air. I prayed for God’s protection of the city and its population.
Looking back on my childhood, I realize that I’ve always been able to feel the otherworldly atmosphere on Halloween. It scares me, because all of the spirits I’ve ever felt have been malevolent.
One Halloween when I was in college, I was at campus late and decided that rather than driving home, I’d go to a friend’s house. She worked nights and left a key for me outside her door. I was welcome any time. So I went over there around midnight. The moon was high and almost full, but her yard was peculiarly dark. I was uncomfortable as I walked from the car to the front door, and I could not find the rock where she had hidden the key. I stood there in the yard for a moment, and could feel hate focused on me from all directions. It was oppressive and momentarily paralyzing. Suddenly I couldn’t stand to be there another minute, so I rushed back to my car and went home.
I am not afraid of the Evil One. Neither he nor his servants have power over me, because my soul belongs to the Creator. But I will not expose myself to their hatred and malevolent intent, either. I stay at home on Halloween, safe in the protection of my God’s love and power.
Tonight the veil is thin, my friends. Be careful, be vigilant, and do not let yourselves be led astray. I pray that God will keep you safe from harm, and that the coming year will overflow with blessing.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Living with an Invisible Illness, part 1
Many people I know suffer from invisible illnesses. I wrote this today during a bad flare. Nothing practical here, but hopefully in the days to come we can change that.
Fibromyalgia haiku
This flush on my face
So cheerful, seeming healthy
Lies – All is not well
“You look so healthy”
Appearances deceive you
This body - broken
Trigger points scream red
Without external pressure
Pools of pain inside
Large muscles spasm
Small ones clench, no release
No relief exists
Cannot filter noise
Near or far, it all pierces
I’m flying apart
My brain, wrapped in gauze
Thoughts disappear in the gray
What was I saying?
Sleep may be reprieve
Or not – hours pass, but still
Bone-deep exhaustion
Flares may fade away
“Normal” return for a day
But “Health” never will
This is my life now
Hurt, tired, and misunderstood
God is my refuge
Fibromyalgia haiku
This flush on my face
So cheerful, seeming healthy
Lies – All is not well
“You look so healthy”
Appearances deceive you
This body - broken
Trigger points scream red
Without external pressure
Pools of pain inside
Large muscles spasm
Small ones clench, no release
No relief exists
Cannot filter noise
Near or far, it all pierces
I’m flying apart
My brain, wrapped in gauze
Thoughts disappear in the gray
What was I saying?
Sleep may be reprieve
Or not – hours pass, but still
Bone-deep exhaustion
Flares may fade away
“Normal” return for a day
But “Health” never will
This is my life now
Hurt, tired, and misunderstood
God is my refuge
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