Losing My Religion (While Keeping the Faith): Believing in an Infinite God

When we last met, I asked you to sit with and think about the implications of a God for whom all things are possible. What does it mean that God makes all thing possible? What is possible with God?

I thought and prayed about this question for three years. Opening your mind to Possible is not always easy, especially when you have been raised with the idea that there are rules about what God does and doesn't do, depending on when in history you live. Yet, Hebrews 13:8 says that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Jesus said "I and the Father are one" (John 10:38), so God is also the same throughout  history. This makes perfect sense to me, as God is outside our limitations of space and time.

So the first breakthrough I had was that God is the same as He has always been, and He always will be the same. Perhaps our current idea that God doesn't speak directly to His people is flawed. It's possible that He still does. It's possible that He still heals, still works miracles, still allows us to see glimpses behind the curtain.

So I started listening for His voice. God had spoken to me before, in the depths of emotional trouble over ... well, it doesn't matter what the details are. I heard Him clearly tell me to be still and let Him work in that situation. I began asking for specific guidance, believing that God still speaks directly to His people, and that He would speak to me.

And that's when things started happening.

Losing My Religion (While Keeping the Faith), Introduction

Discussing faith is tricky. The two topics it's not "polite" to discuss are religion and politics, yet both of them have been at the forefront of social media lately. It is not my intent to discuss politics here. If you want to know, feel free to ask elsewhere.

This is the first entry in what may or may not be a long series of posts. It's largely for me to externalize my spiritual journey over the last 7 or 8 years. The further away I get from organized religion, the closer I feel to my God. This is not to say that I have abandoned all ideas of returning to church. What I am saying is that *for me,* there is value in seeking a more experiential component to my faith.

I grew up in a fundamentalist, nondenominational church. Emphasis is on study, an intellectual analysis of the Scriptures in the context of the original languages and the time in which they were written. For 40 years, I accepted that systematic study of the Bible in this way was not only the best approach to faith and worship, it was also the only way.

Then I started meditating on Matthew 19:26b - "with God, all things are possible." I asked myself, What would it mean if you really, truly, believe in an infinite God? I meditated and prayed on this simple question for about 3 years, and then the answers started coming.

I'm going to leave you with this question for a while. Sit with it, think of possibilities. What is possible if you truly, with all your heart, soul, and mind, believe that God is infinite? Infinitely powerful? Infinitely loving? Infinitely full of grace?

Think about it, and I'll share my conclusions and experiences in a while.

Musings

I was raised to live with an attitude of unconditional love. To look at the world with acceptance. To treat people the way I want to be treated, with grace and compassion. To withhold judgment until I knew all the circumstances.

It’s a bit sobering to realize that I am now modeling these values for the very people who instilled them in me, because society has reached their limits of tolerance and compassion. It's troublesome to look around at my fellow believers and followers of Christ and to see harsh judgment instead of sympathy and empathy. 

Is there a certain age at which we are no longer flexible enough in our minds and hearts to embrace those whose experiences are so very different from our own? 

Is there a moment at which we no longer interpret the commandment to love one another as Jesus Christ loves us to mean that we try to understand a differing point of view rather than flatly labeling it as sin and anathema?

Why are we so quick to judge, when we are commanded not to do so?

Why are we so quick to disapprove of someone else's attempt to live life as authentically as they can, and so quick to assume that that person is somehow not worthy of our respect because they are struggling in a way we cannot understand?

Why do we feel that we have the authority to dismiss another person as unworthy of unconditional love? Why do we feel justified in disgust, anger, and hatred?

Where is Jesus Christ in that? 

Why Christians Don't Get to Object to Gay Marriage

I've been thinking about this one for a long time, too. Below are the most common reasons I've heard Christians use to justify their objections, and my objections to those reasons. Please read this seriously and give it some thought. If, after you have thought it through FOR YOURSELF, you still don't agree with me, that's OK. Just make sure you have reasoned and logical reasons, and you're not simply spouting rhetoric you've heard on Christian radio or whatever.

“The Bible says marriage is between one man and one woman!”

Really? Let's take a look. Yes, God created Eve for Adam. The Bible does not tell us whether Adam took another wife; however, legend does tell us that Eve may not have been his only wife.

Even if the original plan was one man/one woman, a cursory reading of the Bible tells us that this was hardly ever the case. Abraham was not criticized for taking Hagar to wife; he was criticized for his lack of faith that the promised son would come from Sarah. David was never criticized for having multiple wives, and he was called a man after God's own heart. Solomon was not criticized for his political marriages; he was criticized for permitting them to lead him away from Jehovah. The only comment on the subject in the New Testament is in 1 Timothy, where a pastor must be husband to only one wife.

Using the Bible to object to same-sex marriage mischaracterizes the Bible. The Bible does not define marriage.

“I don't want to support that lifestyle!”

Let's break this one down. You, as a believer in Jesus Christ, don't want to support a lifestyle of sin. (For purposes of this discussion, we will assume that homosexuality is a sin.) So that means that you will also not support the lifestyle of anyone who gets drunk regularly (Ephesians 5:17), anyone who uses profanity regularly (Ephesians 5:4), anyone who exasperates their children (Ephesians 6:4), etc. You get the picture. If you want to say that you cannot support a sinful lifestyle, then you have to reject all sinners, not just the ones who disgust you. And since every one of us is a sinner (Romans 3:23), are you going to reject yourself? No? Then you can't reject anyone else, either.

Let's also remember that many people who identify as homosexual are not Christians (unbelievers). Without the filling of the Holy Spirit, they have no way to do anything other than sin.

And as for the professing Christians who are also homosexual, you have not been appointed their personal Holy Spirit. Their choices are between them and God. Not your business, not mine. Your business and mine is to reflect the grace of Jesus Christ.

“Hate the sin, love the sinner!”

Newsflash: When someone tells you “I love you, but I hate what you're doing,” all you hear is “I hate.” And our God is love. Our Lord invited all to His table. He promises rest to anyone who comes. And He paid the penalty for all sin, so exactly what is it you think you're promoting? Sin has been forgiven. You don't get to judge someone else's sin, not when your Savior has paid the penalty for it.

If you're dealing with an unbeliever, the only issue is what they think of Jesus Christ. Sin is an issue for BELIEVERS, because we're the ones who have temporal consequences of sin – we're the ones for whom 1 John 1:9 is written. Believers have to confess our sins so that fellowship with God is restored. Unbelievers don't have this option. All they can do is accept Jesus Christ as their Savior.

“America was founded as a Christian nation! We have to preserve Christian values!”

Let's take a look at history, shall we? Yes, the Puritans came over to escape religious persecution by the Catholic Church and the Church of England. However, the Puritans exhibited the same astonishing lack of grace to anyone who didn't fit their narrow notion of what Christianity should be. And at that time, they considered themselves English colonists.

The move for independence from England was political, not religious. It was spurred by taxation issues and other issues regarding the governance of the colonies.

The group of men generally considered as the Founding Fathers consisted of both Christians and Deists. Some of the Christians were Unitarians rather than Trinitarians, so the idea that there was one religious faith accepted by the Founding Fathers is laughable.

If the argument is that we have a responsibility to preserve the values “on which this country was founded,” then we logically should still practice slavery, be anti-mixed marriage, and women should not have the right to vote. Those were values of society at that time. Picking and choosing societal values from history is never intellectually honest.

Besides, as pointed out above, the Bible does not define marriage as one man/one woman, so which version of those values are we espousing? Polygamy? Child marriage? 

The only intellectually honest objection to gay marriage is “It's icky!” And if you're disgusted by the thought of sex between two men or two women, that's OK. You can be disgusted. But you cannot use that disgust to deny them the benefits of marriage, which is, after all, a civil institution. Marriage is defined by the culture in which you live (just think of the differences in what is required to be married under traditional Christian rules, traditional Jewish rules, traditional Hindu rules, and traditional secular rules. It's all marriage.). And one thing that is very clear is that Christians are to live in the society where they find themselves (Romans 13:1).

My Issues with Contemporary Christianity

If you've been paying attention (and really, why should you? You have your own life.), you might have noticed that I have been not particularly happy with the way current Christianity is going. This morning, I mentally compiled a list of Things I Need to Know, and since my memory is currently reminiscent of Swiss cheese, I need to write it down. So lucky you, you get to see it, too:

1. I need to know why some passages are interpreted in their historical context and some are not. For example, "women keep silent in church" was a direct admonition to a group of women making trouble in one particular church, but it is used as a sledgehammer today.

2. I need to know why "I do not suffer a woman to teach a man" is anything other than Paul's personal preference, and why it means that a woman cannot have any position of leadership in a church. I need to know why it trumps "there is neither male nor female in Christ," too.

3. I need to know why we have elevated marriage and family to be the best way for Christians to honor God (and correspondingly, treating single adults, especially women, like pariahs in the local assembly) when Paul himself said that being single is better, and marriage is best only to avoid sin. See above re: not distinguishing between Paul's personal opinion and God's Word.

4. I need to know why we have put the onus of avoiding being molested on our girl children instead of teaching our sons to control their damn selves.

5. I need to know why we feel the need to use "I don't want to support that lifestyle" as an excuse to push people away from the love of Jesus Christ. I need to know why our discomfort with certain sin patterns trumps "Come to me, ALL who are heavy-laden." I need to know how "You are the light of the world" means that we get to decide who is worthy of our reflection of our Lord and who is not. I need to know how we expect our children to be the salt and light of the world if the world never sees them.

This list may be expanded later.

Room at the Table: An Open Letter to Evangelical Christianity

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ:

Say it with me – I believe in God the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary, was crucified under Pontius Pilate, died, and was buried. He descended into hell. On the third day He rose from the dead. He ascended into heaven, where He sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. From thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the universal Christian church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting.*

This is what we all believe, right? This is the core of the Protestant Christian faith. This is the commonality we all hold, the grounds for our identification as Christians and the hope for our eternal future. This is the bond that ties us together in Christ.

So why do I feel like there is no room for me at the table? Why do I feel like there is no place for me in your church? Why am I an outcast?

“What are you talking about?” you ask, genuinely confused. Well, as the young kids these days say, lemme ‘splain you a thing.

I am a middle-aged woman, never married, with no children. According to 1 Corinthians 7, by definition I serve God rather than a husband (since I have no husband). Great. I would love to serve God! And according to Hebrews 10, I am to be part of a local assembly, which seems like the perfect place to serve Him.

Okay! Let’s see where I can serve. Can I be a pastor? Not according to 1 Timothy, since I am a woman. Can I be a deacon? Again, not according to 1 Timothy, even though there were plenty of female deacons in the early church (see the book of Acts). Can I be a teacher of adults? Nope. Not if it means I’m teaching men (1 Timothy 2).

“But you could teach women or children!” you cry. Really? The Evangelical churches teach their daughters that the highest calling of a Christian girl is to marry a nice Christian boy and raise a passel of nice Christian children. Even that has Scriptural support – again in that little book of 1 Timothy, where Paul proclaimed that “women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.” (1 Timothy 1:15) So let’s review: I am a woman who has never married and has no children. How, then, do you believe that I am qualified to teach your lovely daughters how to be Biblical wives and mothers, since I am neither?

By the same argument, because I do not have children, clearly I am not qualified to teach children because I don’t know how to communicate with them or help you rear them properly (this is actually a thing I have been told, by the way – that I have nothing valuable to say about child-rearing because I don’t have any children). After all, you want proper role models for your children, and there’s something suspect about a woman who has reached the age of 44 and never married.

What about music? Well, let’s look at that for a minute. Theoretically, this could be a place I could serve, particularly since I am a musician with over 10 years of classical training. I have even performed in Carnegie Hall. So let’s look at my experience in this area.

The first time I wanted to serve my church in the music ministry, I was told I could not be song leader because I am a woman. A man who lacked my musical qualifications was appointed song leader over me.

The second time I joined a church choir, I dove in head-first. I volunteered for everything, brushed off my piano skills, toured with the choir, and generally felt like I was part of a community and genuinely serving God and my church. Then I got sick and fell out of choir practice. In a choir of about 30 people, in a church of about 2000, guess how many people called or emailed to check on me when I stopped showing up?

Zero.

Not one person. No one that I had sung beside, worked beside, laughed beside, worshiped beside, could be bothered to email or call simply to say, “Hey, are you okay?”

So sure, music is a theoretical possibility. But when I am told that I cannot be in a position that might smack of “leadership,” even though I am the more qualified candidate otherwise, or when it is patently obvious that no one values my contribution enough to even make sure I was still alive after a year of not appearing, it’s difficult to think that this would be at all a rewarding form of service.

There may be other areas of service in a local assembly, but as far as I can tell, the only place a church that holds to traditional Protestant thinking about women’s roles would permit me to participate is prayer meeting. Even then, I wouldn’t be allowed to lead one.

The most frustrating aspect to this is who I have been outside a local assembly of believers. I was an attorney for 20 years. I managed more than one law firm, including supervision of employees. I owned my own business. I was a charter member of a business networking group and helped to grow the group to over 30 members. I know how to be a leader, and I know how to work with men, because when I joined the legal profession, women were still an unrespected minority. In any other context, I am qualified to serve in a position of leadership. But because God made me a woman, even though I am a woman who by definition is to serve Him, I cannot use the skills, education, or brain He blessed me with in church.

There is no place for me at the table. I don’t fit in any pigeonhole, and therefore I am expected to sit quietly in the sanctuary, with no voice.

God has called me to greater service than this. He has poured out gifts on me that I must use in service to my brothers and sisters in Christ, and that I must use in service to our King. I cannot bury my talents; I must find a way to multiply them.

Pastors, please, I beg you – open your eyes to the reality of your congregation’s population. There must be a way to allow single childless women to serve by utilizing their skills and their gifts and their God-given talents without violating Scripture. I do not have all the answers (although I do have opinions, if anyone cares).

Meanwhile, I will go in search of a table that has room for me. God will be there, too, and He will bless my wholehearted desire to serve Him.

*The Apostle’s Creed.

A Christian Perspective on Dysmorphia

Been thinking a lot about my transgender friend, since he had his chest reconstruction surgery. I know the attitude of most Christians is that God doesn't make mistakes and that people who experience dysmorphia between their physical gender and the gender they feel in their soul are somehow wrong, ungrateful, or sinning. I can't think that.

While obviously I agree that God is perfect and that when He created this universe, He created it perfectly, I believe that since the Fall, sin has permeated and polluted our world. Genesis 3 supports this belief. Genesis 2 implies that human souls are created male and female. And so, I have no trouble following logic to the next step, which is that it is entirely possible, due to the aggregate pollution (both literal and metaphysical) of the world and the human genome, for a person to be born in the wrong-gendered body. 

I have never had this type of dysmorphia issue. I cannot even imagine how it must feel. Even though I was a complete tomboy growing up - I gravitated to the boys for play, I spent equal time or more with my Legos and little green soldiers as I did with my Barbies - I have always felt female. I cannot judge someone for feeling things that I have no personal context for understanding or even imagining. I am no position to determine whether someone who decides to travel the extraordinarily difficult road of changing gender - legally, physically, socially - is right or wrong to do so. 

What I can do is offer unconditional acceptance, encouragement, and support for someone who is facing such an enormous burden. I think that attitude correctly reflects Jesus Christ. I am not afraid to stand up for what is right, true, and moral, but this situation requires discretion, discernment, and most of all, love. I can respect my friend for choosing to spend the time, money, and emotional effort to make his outward appearance congruent with his inward identity without any judgment. And I can be grateful that God provided him a loving and supportive wife, since his decisions cost him his biological family.

God, guilt, and shame

Do you ever notice how sometimes you read something from one source and then something from another source, and the two pieces of information synthesize in your head to form a connection you hadn't noticed before?

Just now, I was in the process of my morning self-improvement routine and this happened, and I want to share my minor epiphany with you.

He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father's Affection is a book that has significantly reshaped the way I perceive God's regard for me, and I highly recommend it.  The premise is that Christians have seriously misconstrued God's intent and love for us, and that in order to understand fully what He has done, is doing, and will continue to do for us, we must repudiate a performance-based idea of our relationship with Him. The sentence that caught my attention this morning is as follows:

If we define God only in our limited interpretation of our own circumstances, we will never discover who he really is.

I copied this sentence into my diary for further mulling over, and went on to checking my email. There was a message from Gene Monterastelli. Mr. Monterastelli is a practitioner of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), which uses acupressure principles to direct and control change in your attitudes and actions. This is a very useful technique, although no one really understands how it works.

But I digress. The point is that the title of this morning's newsletter is "The Inconvenient Truth About Shame and Guilt." If you, like me, have a working conscience and are aware of how short you fall from the ideal standards of conduct, this title probably grabs your attention like it grabbed mine. So I clicked the link to this article. Here are the relevant statements:

"When you feel guilty about something, you are holding the other person in a victim state."

When I think I have done you wrong, not only does my guilt impact the way I see myself, but it also impacts the way I see you, and therefore the way I interact with you.

When I feel like I have hurt you, I will call you less, be hesitant in your presence, and be reluctant to spend time with you.

With an almost audible "click" in my head, the two concepts merged and I realized:  This is true not only of human relationships, but also of our relationship with God!

When I am very conscious of my sinful nature, I feel shame and guilt and do not feel that I can approach God with the bold confidence of His child (Hebrews 4:16). When, out of shame, we hesitate to pray, open the Bible, or in some way seek God's face, we both hold back our own development and growth AND grieve our loving Father, who desires an intimate relationship with us. It feels odd to think of it as holding God in a victim status, but it is a useful analogy, in that our reluctance to pursue a relationship with Him grieves Him as much as it is detrimental to our own emotional and spiritual states.

So there's the problem: Guilt and shame prevent us from experiencing the full joy of an intimate relationship with our loving Father and God, and retard our own spiritual and emotional maturity.

What's the solution? I see several parts:

1. 1 John 1:9 promises that if we confess our sin to God, He will immediately forgive and restore us to fellowship. Confession is not complicated. It merely consists of telling God that what you did, said, or thought was a violation of His perfect standard.

2. If you have wronged someone, apologize. That clears the air between you and permits resumption of the relationship.

However, confession and apology, while removing the fact of guilt, do not always remove the feeling of guilt or shame. So how do we deal with that?

3. Use tools such as Bible study, therapy, "acting as if," and EFT.

Some Christians take the attitude that psychological tools are not valid; however, God created the human psyche and permitted us to discover certain principles and tools that work regardless of faith. I believe that both therapy and EFT are tools like this that should be available for everyone's use. Click the link above about Gene Monterastelli to explore his website and learn about EFT. I encourage you to try it. You'll be amazed at how well it works to help remove negative emotions that are otherwise entrenched in your heart.

Once we can remove the emotions of guilt and shame from the equation, a more intimate and fulfilling relationship with a loving God can be discovered. And really, isn't that a desirable outcome?

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
I bind this day to me for ever.

By power of faith, Christ's incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan river;
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the cherubim;
The sweet 'well done' in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors' faith, Apostles' word,
The Patriarchs' prayers, the Prophets' scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun's life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind's tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.

The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide,
His shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan's spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart's idolatry,
Against the wizard's evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.

Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.

The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

-- St. Patrick of Ireland

A bit of poetry

I felt in the need of a bit of centering today, so I paraphrased a bunch of Scripture promises and mashed them all together. Here's the result:

I will wait upon the Lord and He will substitute His strength for my weakness.
He will give me eagle's wings and teach me to fly.
He will give me endurance to run the race set before me and not grow tired.
He will light the path of righteousness for me to walk and I will not grow faint.
I will trust in the Lord with all my heart, and acknowledge him in all my ways - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually - and He will direct my steps.
The Lord knows what He plans for me. He will prosper me and not harm me.
He will provide for all my needs in accordance with the riches of his glory.
He will guard my heart with His peace.
He is preparing a place for me in His house, where I will live with Him forever.

(c) Aeryn Dex 2013

Feel free to share if you like it. 

A few thoughts . . .

A friend of mine recently introduced me to the writings of Mark Batterson. Mr. Batterson is the pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C. He has also written numerous books on living the Christian life. One of those books is Soulprint: Discovering Your Divine Destiny. Given the things that God is doing in my life right now, I picked up this book and have been amazed at the insight and helpful thoughts it contains. Here are a couple of quotations that I hope bless you as much as they have blessed me.

[W]hat we think of as the goal isn't really the goal.  The goal is not accomplishing the dream God has given to you. The dream is a secondary issue. The primary issue is who you become in the process. We fixate on what and when and where. God's primary concern is always who. And He won't get you where He wants you to go until you become who He wants you to be. ...

Sometimes you have to die to the dream God has given you so that God can resurrect the dream in its glorified form. And by glorified form, I simply mean pursuing the dream for God's glory. When you stop living for selfish purposes, the pressure comes off. And that's when your destiny comes into focus. ...

No one likes to be embarrassed. In fact, we do everything within our power to avoid embarrassment at all costs. But we need to be embarrassed for the same reason we need to fail: it keeps us humble. And humility is the key to fulfilling our destiny. The longer I live and lead, the more convinced I am of this simple truth: God doesn't do what God does because of us. God does what God does in spite of us. All we have to do is stay out of the way. And the way we stay out of the way is by staying humble. If we stay humble, there is nothing God cannot do in us and through us. And nothing expands our capacity for humility like embarrassment. If handled properly, a healthy dose of embarrassment is good for us. Embarrassing moments are like spiritual antioxidants. They purge the ego of prideful impurities. ...

Too many people live as if the purpose of life is to avoid embarrassment at all costs. They never put themselves in situations that might be awkward. So they forfeit joy. They never reveal who they really are. So they forfeit intimacy. They never take risks. So they forfeit opportunity.

I highly recommend this book if you are searching for your own divine destiny.

 

A Great-Grandmother's Prayer

Yesterday, my grandmother gave me a framed photo-set of me as a baby. I was confused by this until she told me to look on the back.

This is what my great-grandmother (Grandma's mother) had written on the back:

"Dear Lord, help little Erin to have good discipline, and to receive it, and God bless this family, Lord, that little Erin may yield to the convicting power of the Holy Spirit when she gets old enough to understand right from wrong and accept Jesus as her Savior.  And that she will be sanctified wholly and live a consecrated and dedicated life for Christ.  Give her a passion for lost souls. Help her to honor hr mom and dad that she may live long on the Earth if Jesus tarries.  This is my prayer for sweet little Erin." -- Grandma Hanson

It's humbling to read something written about and for me long before I was conscious of the world. It's amazing to think of this hidden prayer committed to writing and undiscovered until someone took the photos down. The love and faith that shines through an elderly woman's myopic scrawl just leaves me speechless.

God Manifest

Feeling a little stunned right now. At lunch yesterday, Caitlin and I were talking about living passively as opposed to living actively, and how we can change our lives if we choose to do so. She's found a book along the lines of the principles of attraction, and was talking about manifesting her dreams. Of course, my approach is a little different, but she asked me, "Why not manifest perfect health for yourself?"

I thought a lot about that yesterday, because the day before I'd heard from the doctor about my blood test results, and they were terrible. Several years ago, I prayed for God to heal my mother's kidney disease, and it is ever so slowly (but noticeably) reversing itself. I know several stories of divine healing, and I began to wonder why I never asked for it for myself. So last night, I told God that I don't need to manifest perfect health for myself, because He can manifest it if He chooses to do so.

This morning, this article about corn gluten appeared in my Facebook feed. I followed the link and found this article detailing all the diseases that have been connected to non-celiac gluten sensitivity.

Everything I've been diagnosed with is on this list. Everything.

So I decided to see if any doctor who follows the principles of the Gluten Free Society is in the area. Guess what? The founder is in Sugar Land. A 3-hour drive. And there's a life coach in Round Rock who's been through the first level of his GF certification. Round Rock. I drive there regularly to visit friends.

Could the solution really be that easy? That close? All I have to do is reach out and take it? And there are two guides within driving distance who can help? If I can recover and maintain perfect health by eliminating all gluten from my diet, why should I not do it? It's such a simple solution. And by "simple" I do NOT mean "easy." From what I can tell, what the GFS calls a "true gluten free" diet is actually grain-free.

I will need coaching and guidance and encouragement, but it would be all worthwhile if my body would heal and start working properly.

The timing is so significant. Rarely have my prayers been answered so promptly. "You want perfect health? Here. Here's the way to do it." God is so amazing.