How Jeremy Renner Changed My Life

Years ago, I rented a movie called S.W.A.T., mostly because of Colin Farrell, and I noticed that the actor who played his good-cop-gone-bad partner was a good actor, and I was disappointed that he was the bad guy. Over the years, this same guy kept popping up in other things I was watching - Angel, North Country, 28 Weeks Later, etc. By the time he showed up on House, M.D. (in what became one of my favorite episodes, because of him), I had started referring to him as “that guy that I like” because for some reason I could never remember his name.

Then one night, my date and I went to see The Hurt Locker. In the interests of full disclosure, I have a huge kink for all things military – uniforms, camouflage, weapons, war machines,  the whole bit. I was also interested to see how “that guy I like” would do in this kind of role.

He blew me away. The force and conviction of his acting in that role was a quality that is rarely seen in the kinds of movies I like, and I have never been able to forget the scene in the grocery store where Sgt. James is completely overwhelmed by the options and has absolutely no idea what to do – because he has been so institutionalized by the military, where those kinds of choices don’t exist. He was so good, in fact, that my father (a veteran of two wars) tells me he had to keep reminding himself that it was not a documentary.

Mostly because of the camouflage, I walked out of The Hurt Locker thinking not only is- he a great actor, but he’s freakin’ HOT. (What can I say? I’m a sucker for men who look good in camo and are comfortable handling weapons.) I was not surprised in the least that he was nominated for an Oscar.

However, life and other crushes went on, until Thor. When Hawkeye appeared on the screen and I realized who he was, I got giddy. I was very tempted by Mission Impossible:  Ghost Protocol, but my dislike for its titular star outweighed the presence of Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, and Josh Holloway.

So it was not until the double-tap of The Avengers and The Bourne Legacy that I really fell in love. That was when I started actively researching him, reading interviews and articles, hunting down DVDs, and yes, giving in to MI:4. It was also just in time for The Town to hit HBO, and it now resides permanently on my DVR until I can get the DVD.

I’ve had celebrity crushes before. I’ve run fan clubs for some of them. This one is different, because this one has a concrete effect on my life. One day I was thinking about Mr. Renner, and how he has been tapped to take over two major movie franchises (Mission: Impossible and the Bourne series), and is an integral part of the ensemble cast of the Avengers franchise. It occurred to me that he is young enough that he has a long, profitable (and, I am confident, Oscar-winning) career ahead of him.

Then I realized that although he and I are almost exactly the same age (nine weeks apart), I have been behaving as if my own life is basically over. My health has declined to the point where I can no longer be in my current profession, but I have been doing this too long to be qualified to do anything else, so I was simply existing.

When I realized that if Mr. Renner is young enough to consider that he still has a full life ahead of him, and we are the same age, that means that I am young enough, too. That is what inspired me to decide to go back to school and to pursue my life-long dream of being involved in the film industry.

So when you finally see my name on a movie screen with the credit “Written by,” you will know that Jeremy Renner inspired me to get off my couch and start living. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

The Etiquette of Being a Fangirl, or: How to Avoid a Restraining Order Without Really Trying

DISCLAIMER:  This is an opinion piece. Despite the clever subtitle, this piece does not constitute legal advice, nor does the reading of this piece create any attorney-client relationship.

            Each of us is a fan of something or someone. It’s human nature to admire other people, hobbies, sports, etc.  This article is dedicated to a subgroup of fans – those of us who admire celebrities – and it is my hope that you will consider what I have to say, and become a better fangirl than you already are. There’s always room for improvement, right?

            The word “fan,” according to Merriam Webster, means “an ardent admirer or enthusiast.” The word apparently comes from the word “fanatic,” which according to the same source, means “marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion.”  Sound familiar?

            Somewhere along the way, the word “fan” stopped being emphatic enough to describe the depth of our devotion, especially to celebrities, and the words “fanboy” and “fangirl” were coined. According to the Urban Dictionary, “fanboy” is used mostly for male gamer geeks, but “fangirl” is used mostly for female geeks who lavish their enthusiasm on actors or fictional characters. For this article, I will use “fangirl” to include all people, regardless of sex or gender identity, who are devoted followers of a celebrity.

            I started thinking about how fangirls behave shortly after creating an account on Tumblr and found my people. The object of my current fangirl crush is Jeremy Renner, who has a large following on Tumblr, but I also know fangirls of Tom Hiddleston, his character from The Avengers and related movies Loki, Landon Donovan (midfielder for the LA Galaxy and US Men’s National Soccer Team), and Sam and Dean Winchester of the TV series Supernatural, to name just a few. Fangirls can create a fandom out of anything or anyone.  We have also redefined the word “obsession,” as I will explain.

            Fangirls use the word “obsession” because frequently the object of our enthusiasm is a ubiquitous, if intangible, presence in our lives. I work out my obsessions by writing original stories using the current object as a mannequin upon which to hang a character. Others paint pictures, write music, or write fanfiction.  These obsessions are usually not harmful, especially to the object, because most fangirls understand that the affection, adoration, and dedication involved is a one-way street. The objects of our obsessions are, for the most part, completely oblivious to the hordes of people who adore them. (Tom Hiddleston is a notable exception, as his Twitter account shows.)  I think that in general, this is the way it should be. Celebrities need to be able to focus on their work and their private lives, and do not need to be distracted or disturbed by the “intense uncritical devotion” we would like to smother them with.

            However, sometimes fangirls can take things too far, presuming on the celebrity’s patience and time. For example, recently when Tom Hiddleston was filming, crowds of people waited outside for him to leave the set. Every day, he would spend as much time as it took to greet them, sign autographs, take pictures, and generally be an awesome person. But did it occur to any of those people that he might be tired and need to go rest before filming again the next day? I don’t know the answer to that. I wasn’t there. But it seems to me that taking Mr. Hiddleston’s attention away from his work may endanger not only his ability to maintain his filming schedule, but also his connection with his fan base. At some point in the future, if his fans keep this up, he will have to choose between work and his fans. He will be forced to withdraw from us, and then what?

            An even more extreme example of a celebrity’s unpleasant experience with a fan happened to Jeremy Renner. After rebuffing a fan’s advances, the fan stole his cat. Let me repeat that. The “fan” stole. his. cat. Is it any wonder that Mr. Renner now takes extra measures to keep his private life private?

            Which brings me to the whole point of this rambling. The key to being a good fangirl is simple: Remember that the person you love, the one you have long conversations with in your head, the one who may feature in your sexual fantasies – that person does not exist. He (or she) is merely an amalgam of interview snippets, characters, and photographs. The actual person has his own dreams, desires, and ambitions, and they do not include you. Even if you are blessed enough to spend a few minutes in his company and he is polite and charming (I witnessed an act of kindness by Nathan Fillion that ensured that I will be his fan forever), he does not know you. He owes you nothing.

            So, here are the very simple rules for being a fangirl:

1. Respect the privacy of the person you adore.

2. Make no demands on his time or his person that he does not initiate. If he does initiate contact, such as an autograph session or appearance at a con, remember not to overtax his good nature.

3. Remember the difference between fantasy and reality.

            That’s it. That’s all there is to it. It’s not always easy, it’s not always fun, but it’s the way both to keep your own sanity and not end up on the wrong side of a restraining order.