Did
you know that the latest estimate is that one out of every ten adult Americans
has depression?1 That is 10% of the adult population of the United
States. In 2007, suicide was the tenth
leading cause of death in the United States; third for people ages 15 to 24.2
The National Institute for Mental Health estimates that depression is a major
cause for suicide in 90% of cases.3
That means that nearly one in ten people who have depression will
commit suicide. That is a noticeable number of preventable deaths. And yet, no
one talks about it. We hide it, or sweep it under the rug, or tough it out.
Depression is still a taboo subject for most people, which means that when
someone we know does commit suicide because of depression, we are usually
shocked and surprised.
In
the interests of full disclosure, I have depression. I have had at least three
major depressive episodes in my life, the first of which means that there are
five years of my childhood that I do not remember. During that first major
depressive episode, I came up with my suicide plan, so that I would have a way
out if things got bad enough. Every morning, I would wake up and think, “Is it
bad enough?” Every night, I would review the day and think, “Is it bad enough?”
Obviously, the answer was always “no,” or I would not be writing this now, but the
point is, it happened. I never told anyone about these thoughts because I did
not want to add to the stress of the situation.
My
second major depressive episode retreated (I can’t say it ended because I’m not
sure it really did) when I changed my circumstances. The third one, though, was
worse, and when it got to the point where I was seriously contemplating suicide
again, I went to the doctor. She gave me antidepressants, which have literally
saved my life.
As
a teenager, I never told my family about my depression or suicidal thoughts
because I did not want to add to the stress of the situation we were going
through at the time. I did not think I was important enough. Given the high
rate of suicide among teenagers and young adults, it’s time to bring depression
out into the open, look at it in the light of day, and dispel the idea that
there is something shameful about being depressed. First, let’s look at what
depression is not. Then we’ll look at what depression is, and treatment
options.
What
Depression is NOT
1.
Depression is not just feeling sad. There are eight factors in the official
diagnosis of depression, which will be discussed later, but only one of them is
feelings of sadness.
2.
Depression is not a spiritual problem. There are some religious leaders who
claim that depression is a symptom of lack of faith. There is no justification
for this claim, and my personal experience is exactly the opposite. My faith is
strong. My depression has nothing to do with my faith; in fact, when the
depression is bad, suicide seems more tempting because I know where I’m going
when I die, and it will be a place of no more sorrow and no more tears.
3.
Depression is not shameful. Most professionals believe that depression is
caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain or in the endocrine system.4
Other health issues, such as diabetes, are also caused by chemical imbalance in
the body, but are not treated as shameful.
What
Depression Is
1.
Depression is complicated. For major
depression, the medical community generally looks for five of the following
eight symptoms: little interest or pleasure in doing things, feeling down,
depressed, or hopeless, trouble falling or staying asleep or trouble waking up,
feeling tired, poor appetite or overeating, feeling like you are a failure or
you let yourself or your family down, difficulty concentrating, and either
speaking and moving so quickly or slowly that other people notice.5 Fewer
than five of these symptoms can indicate depression, as well.
2.
Depression is treatable. Depending on who you talk to, medication may or may
not be the first line of treatment for you. Medication is a common treatment,
but it is not the only one. Therapy works for some people, for some types of
depression. It may take some time to find the right combination of techniques,
but once you do, you’ll realize that even though you thought you were seeing
the world in color, you were really seeing it in black and white.
3.
Depression is common. You are not alone. See the numbers at the beginning of
this article for the statistics. You are not at fault for your depression. You
are worth the time and effort to be diagnosed and treated.
What
to Do if You Think You May Have Depression
1.
Go to the doctor. I cannot emphasize this point enough, so I will say it again.
GO TO THE DOCTOR. Your primary care physician can prescribe antidepressants.
You do not need to see a psychiatrist. Take the meds. Trust me on this. They
have saved my life. Let them save yours.
2.
Try self-help. Vitamin D deficiency can cause depression, so add a good Vitamin
D supplement to your diet. It should be liquid or a gelcap, and you need to
take it with food. If you take a prescription antidepressant, add folic acid to
your vitamin regime; it helps make the antidepressant more effective. Do NOT
reach for alcohol; alcohol itself is a depressant, and will only make your
depression worse. Other things you can try are exercise, sleep, and finding the
right diet for you.
3.
Find someone to talk to. Sometimes the medications and vitamin supplements, or
other self-help remedies, cannot overcome the depression. It doesn’t have to be
a therapist. Find someone who can be a friend when you need one.
What
to Do if You Have a Friend with Depression
It
can be difficult for someone who has never suffered from depression to
understand how it really works. Depression, even treated, does not go away
completely if it is not caused by circumstance. Keep in mind the Abilify
commercials with the dark cloud following a person around. Even under control,
the cloud is still there; it just does not direct the person’s behavior. So how
can you help your friend who has depression?
1.
Listen. Even if you think your friend’s problems are petty or silly, to a
person with depression, they are important and overwhelming. Listen to the
words, and also to what is not said.
2.
Educate yourself. Learn what depression is and is not, so that you know when
your friend is speaking from depression and when there may be a different
cause.
3.
Encourage your friend to get treatment. When a person is depressed, sometimes
he cannot see the problem. It may take some education by you for your friend to
understand that she is depressed and should seek help.
What
NOT to Do if You Have a Friend with Depression
1.
Don’t offer an easy answer. “Cheer up,” “have faith,” “it’s not that bad” –
none of those are helpful to a person in the throes of depression. If we could
cheer up, we would. And what may not seem bad to you may be overwhelming to
someone else.
2.
Don’t trivialize it. Don’t say “I know how you feel” unless you too have
depression, because you don’t know.
3.
Don’t turn away. A person with depression needs friends. You never know if a
conversation with you is keeping a person from harming himself.
Depression
is an insidious condition that can sneak up on a person, developing over time
so gradually that the person does not realize how far he has sunk. You can help
fight depression and the suicide statistics by education and discussion.
Depression should no longer be considered shameful or somehow the fault of the
person who has it. Talk about it.
