Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
I bind this day to me for ever.

By power of faith, Christ's incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan river;
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the cherubim;
The sweet 'well done' in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors' faith, Apostles' word,
The Patriarchs' prayers, the Prophets' scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun's life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind's tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.

The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide,
His shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan's spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart's idolatry,
Against the wizard's evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.

Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.

The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

-- St. Patrick of Ireland

A bit of poetry

I felt in the need of a bit of centering today, so I paraphrased a bunch of Scripture promises and mashed them all together. Here's the result:

I will wait upon the Lord and He will substitute His strength for my weakness.
He will give me eagle's wings and teach me to fly.
He will give me endurance to run the race set before me and not grow tired.
He will light the path of righteousness for me to walk and I will not grow faint.
I will trust in the Lord with all my heart, and acknowledge him in all my ways - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually - and He will direct my steps.
The Lord knows what He plans for me. He will prosper me and not harm me.
He will provide for all my needs in accordance with the riches of his glory.
He will guard my heart with His peace.
He is preparing a place for me in His house, where I will live with Him forever.

(c) Aeryn Dex 2013

Feel free to share if you like it. 

A few thoughts . . .

A friend of mine recently introduced me to the writings of Mark Batterson. Mr. Batterson is the pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C. He has also written numerous books on living the Christian life. One of those books is Soulprint: Discovering Your Divine Destiny. Given the things that God is doing in my life right now, I picked up this book and have been amazed at the insight and helpful thoughts it contains. Here are a couple of quotations that I hope bless you as much as they have blessed me.

[W]hat we think of as the goal isn't really the goal.  The goal is not accomplishing the dream God has given to you. The dream is a secondary issue. The primary issue is who you become in the process. We fixate on what and when and where. God's primary concern is always who. And He won't get you where He wants you to go until you become who He wants you to be. ...

Sometimes you have to die to the dream God has given you so that God can resurrect the dream in its glorified form. And by glorified form, I simply mean pursuing the dream for God's glory. When you stop living for selfish purposes, the pressure comes off. And that's when your destiny comes into focus. ...

No one likes to be embarrassed. In fact, we do everything within our power to avoid embarrassment at all costs. But we need to be embarrassed for the same reason we need to fail: it keeps us humble. And humility is the key to fulfilling our destiny. The longer I live and lead, the more convinced I am of this simple truth: God doesn't do what God does because of us. God does what God does in spite of us. All we have to do is stay out of the way. And the way we stay out of the way is by staying humble. If we stay humble, there is nothing God cannot do in us and through us. And nothing expands our capacity for humility like embarrassment. If handled properly, a healthy dose of embarrassment is good for us. Embarrassing moments are like spiritual antioxidants. They purge the ego of prideful impurities. ...

Too many people live as if the purpose of life is to avoid embarrassment at all costs. They never put themselves in situations that might be awkward. So they forfeit joy. They never reveal who they really are. So they forfeit intimacy. They never take risks. So they forfeit opportunity.

I highly recommend this book if you are searching for your own divine destiny.

 

10 Lessons I Have Learned from Living With Cats - #1

Life Lesson #1: Whatever you do, give it your full attention.

Have you ever watched a cat for any length of time? Whatever he does, he does with complete focus. No multi-tasking for a cat, no (at least, not unless he’s one of my kittens, who occasionally get confused about whether they’re playing or grooming). Whether it is watching out the window for a glimpse of a bird or lizard, or batting at a toy, tussling with a sibling – whatever a cat considers important enough to spend time on is important enough for her full attention.

How often do we get bogged down by multi-tasking? Sometimes it’s necessary (I don’t know any mother who has the luxury of doing only one thing at a time), but I have come to the conclusion that whenever possible, it is better to slow down and focus on what you’re doing right now. Give it your full attention. You may be surprised at how much more fulfilling it is, or how much less time it takes (in case of something you really didn’t want to do but had to), or even just how much skill you have in order to accomplish it. If it’s important enough to spend your time on, it’s important enough for your full attention.

BAD WOLF

How Jeremy Renner Changed My Life

Years ago, I rented a movie called S.W.A.T., mostly because of Colin Farrell, and I noticed that the actor who played his good-cop-gone-bad partner was a good actor, and I was disappointed that he was the bad guy. Over the years, this same guy kept popping up in other things I was watching - Angel, North Country, 28 Weeks Later, etc. By the time he showed up on House, M.D. (in what became one of my favorite episodes, because of him), I had started referring to him as “that guy that I like” because for some reason I could never remember his name.

Then one night, my date and I went to see The Hurt Locker. In the interests of full disclosure, I have a huge kink for all things military – uniforms, camouflage, weapons, war machines,  the whole bit. I was also interested to see how “that guy I like” would do in this kind of role.

He blew me away. The force and conviction of his acting in that role was a quality that is rarely seen in the kinds of movies I like, and I have never been able to forget the scene in the grocery store where Sgt. James is completely overwhelmed by the options and has absolutely no idea what to do – because he has been so institutionalized by the military, where those kinds of choices don’t exist. He was so good, in fact, that my father (a veteran of two wars) tells me he had to keep reminding himself that it was not a documentary.

Mostly because of the camouflage, I walked out of The Hurt Locker thinking not only is- he a great actor, but he’s freakin’ HOT. (What can I say? I’m a sucker for men who look good in camo and are comfortable handling weapons.) I was not surprised in the least that he was nominated for an Oscar.

However, life and other crushes went on, until Thor. When Hawkeye appeared on the screen and I realized who he was, I got giddy. I was very tempted by Mission Impossible:  Ghost Protocol, but my dislike for its titular star outweighed the presence of Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, and Josh Holloway.

So it was not until the double-tap of The Avengers and The Bourne Legacy that I really fell in love. That was when I started actively researching him, reading interviews and articles, hunting down DVDs, and yes, giving in to MI:4. It was also just in time for The Town to hit HBO, and it now resides permanently on my DVR until I can get the DVD.

I’ve had celebrity crushes before. I’ve run fan clubs for some of them. This one is different, because this one has a concrete effect on my life. One day I was thinking about Mr. Renner, and how he has been tapped to take over two major movie franchises (Mission: Impossible and the Bourne series), and is an integral part of the ensemble cast of the Avengers franchise. It occurred to me that he is young enough that he has a long, profitable (and, I am confident, Oscar-winning) career ahead of him.

Then I realized that although he and I are almost exactly the same age (nine weeks apart), I have been behaving as if my own life is basically over. My health has declined to the point where I can no longer be in my current profession, but I have been doing this too long to be qualified to do anything else, so I was simply existing.

When I realized that if Mr. Renner is young enough to consider that he still has a full life ahead of him, and we are the same age, that means that I am young enough, too. That is what inspired me to decide to go back to school and to pursue my life-long dream of being involved in the film industry.

So when you finally see my name on a movie screen with the credit “Written by,” you will know that Jeremy Renner inspired me to get off my couch and start living. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

Let's Talk about Depression

Did you know that the latest estimate is that one out of every ten adult Americans has depression?¹ That is 10% of the adult population of the United States.  In 2007, suicide was the tenth leading cause of death in the United States; third for people ages 15 to 24.² The National Institute for Mental Health estimates that depression is a major cause for suicide in 90% of cases.³  That means that nearly one in ten people who have depression will commit suicide. That is a noticeable number of preventable deaths. And yet, no one talks about it. We hide it, or sweep it under the rug, or tough it out. Depression is still a taboo subject for most people, which means that when someone we know does commit suicide because of depression, we are usually shocked and surprised.

In the interests of full disclosure, I have depression. I have had at least three major depressive episodes in my life, the first of which means that there are five years of my childhood that I do not remember. During that first major depressive episode, I came up with my suicide plan, so that I would have a way out if things got bad enough. Every morning, I would wake up and think, “Is it bad enough?” Every night, I would review the day and think, “Is it bad enough?” Obviously, the answer was always “no,” or I would not be writing this now, but the point is, it happened. I never told anyone about these thoughts because I did not want to add to the stress of the situation.

My second major depressive episode retreated (I can’t say it ended because I’m not sure it really did) when I changed my circumstances. The third one, though, was worse, and when it got to the point where I was seriously contemplating suicide again, I went to the doctor. She gave me antidepressants, which have literally saved my life.

As a teenager, I never told my family about my depression or suicidal thoughts because I did not want to add to the stress of the situation we were going through at the time. I did not think I was important enough. Given the high rate of suicide among teenagers and young adults, it’s time to bring depression out into the open, look at it in the light of day, and dispel the idea that there is something shameful about being depressed. First, let’s look at what depression is not. Then we’ll look at what depression is, and treatment options.

What Depression is NOT

1. Depression is not just feeling sad. There are eight factors in the official diagnosis of depression, which will be discussed later, but only one of them is feelings of sadness.

2. Depression is not a spiritual problem. There are some religious leaders who claim that depression is a symptom of lack of faith. There is no justification for this claim, and my personal experience is exactly the opposite. My faith is strong. My depression has nothing to do with my faith; in fact, when the depression is bad, suicide seems more tempting because I know where I’m going when I die, and it will be a place of no more sorrow and no more tears.

3. Depression is not shameful. Most professionals believe that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain or in the endocrine system.⁴ Other health issues, such as diabetes, are also caused by chemical imbalance in the body, but are not treated as shameful.

What Depression Is

1. Depression is complicated.  For major depression, the medical community generally looks for five of the following eight symptoms: little interest or pleasure in doing things, feeling down, depressed, or hopeless, trouble falling or staying asleep or trouble waking up, feeling tired, poor appetite or overeating, feeling like you are a failure or you let yourself or your family down, difficulty concentrating, and either speaking and moving so quickly or slowly that other people notice.⁵ Fewer than five of these symptoms can indicate depression, as well.

2. Depression is treatable. Depending on who you talk to, medication may or may not be the first line of treatment for you. Medication is a common treatment, but it is not the only one. Therapy works for some people, for some types of depression. It may take some time to find the right combination of techniques, but once you do, you’ll realize that even though you thought you were seeing the world in color, you were really seeing it in black and white.

3. Depression is common. You are not alone. See the numbers at the beginning of this article for the statistics. You are not at fault for your depression. You are worth the time and effort to be diagnosed and treated.

What to Do if You Think You May Have Depression

1. Go to the doctor. I cannot emphasize this point enough, so I will say it again. GO TO THE DOCTOR. Your primary care physician can prescribe antidepressants. You do not need to see a psychiatrist. Take the meds. Trust me on this. They have saved my life. Let them save yours.

2. Try self-help. Vitamin D deficiency can cause depression, so add a good Vitamin D supplement to your diet. It should be liquid or a gelcap, and you need to take it with food. If you take a prescription antidepressant, add folic acid to your vitamin regime; it helps make the antidepressant more effective. Do NOT reach for alcohol; alcohol itself is a depressant, and will only make your depression worse. Other things you can try are exercise, sleep, and finding the right diet for you.

3. Find someone to talk to. Sometimes the medications and vitamin supplements, or other self-help remedies, cannot overcome the depression. It doesn’t have to be a therapist. Find someone who can be a friend when you need one.

What to Do if You Have a Friend with Depression

It can be difficult for someone who has never suffered from depression to understand how it really works. Depression, even treated, does not go away completely if it is not caused by circumstance. Keep in mind the Abilify commercials with the dark cloud following a person around. Even under control, the cloud is still there; it just does not direct the person’s behavior. So how can you help your friend who has depression?

1. Listen. Even if you think your friend’s problems are petty or silly, to a person with depression, they are important and overwhelming. Listen to the words, and also to what is not said.

2. Educate yourself. Learn what depression is and is not, so that you know when your friend is speaking from depression and when there may be a different cause.

3. Encourage your friend to get treatment. When a person is depressed, sometimes he cannot see the problem. It may take some education by you for your friend to understand that she is depressed and should seek help.

What NOT to Do if You Have a Friend with Depression

1. Don’t offer an easy answer. “Cheer up,” “have faith,” “it’s not that bad” – none of those are helpful to a person in the throes of depression. If we could cheer up, we would. And what may not seem bad to you may be overwhelming to someone else.

2. Don’t trivialize it. Don’t say “I know how you feel” unless you too have depression, because you don’t know.

3. Don’t turn away. A person with depression needs friends. You never know if a conversation with you is keeping a person from harming himself.

Depression is an insidious condition that can sneak up on a person, developing over time so gradually that the person does not realize how far he has sunk. You can help fight depression and the suicide statistics by education and discussion. Depression should no longer be considered shameful or somehow the fault of the person who has it. Talk about it.

¹CDC, http://www.cdc.gov/features/dsdepression/index.html

² NIMH, http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-in-the-us-statistics-and-prevention/index.shtml

³ NIMH, http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-in-the-us-statistics-and-prevention/index.shtml

⁴ http://www.allaboutdepression.com/cau_02.html

⁵CDC, http://www.cdc.gov/features/dsdepression/index.html